Ancient Wisdom
I did a lil word association as a comment on Erin Rust's Blog the other day and it got me thinking... so I made these "revised proverbs", per say. (In a poor attempt to get some of you to leave freaking comments on here, two of the quotes are by Jack Handy, the rest are by me. You'll win a special prize if you can guess which two - Lynnel you don't count.)
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush. But really, who wants bird crap on their hand. You know its gonna happen.
A closed mouth catches no flies. But where's the fun in that?!
If at first you don't succeed... just give 'er up man.
A friend in need is a friend indeed. "But dude seriously, its my last one."
Every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and angel gets set on fire.
Time heals all wounds. Unless its a fungus, in that case you should get that sucker checked out.
A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. But then again monkeys are commonly known for having denial issues.
A penny for your thoughts. And a buck if you NEVER REPEAT THAT EVER AGAIN.
A soft answer turneth away wrath... But if you would've thought of that good comeback ten minutes ago you wouldn't feel like such an idiot.
A penny saved is a penny gained. But as I was playing the penny-in-water game at DQ, I just kept thinking, "one more try, man, one more try."
A cat has nine lives. But the cure for that is multiple bullets.
Curiosity killed the cat. Yeeaaaaah.. curiosity.... (The cat ones are for Aaron Jeanson)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. I wish God would've made a special fruit for annoying people.
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a... man also feels like vomiting.
Blood is thicker than water. But not thicker than pudding snacks. Hey, back off my puddin' pack, man!
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat forever. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Haste makes waste. But then again, if you give it some time, it might work itself out.
Let sleeping dogs lie. But get the licking dog off my freakin lap, it's creepin me out.
Theres no time like the present. But there's always a possibility tomorrow will be better.
A dimple on the chin, the devil within. That's it. I just think that one's funny by itself.
Rome was not built in a day. But I bet if you tried real hard you could make something pretty fricken sweet outta macaroni in like 20 minutes.
The more the merrier. Unless you're talking about STD's, 'cause THAT could be a problem.
Two heads are better than one. If I had two heads I'd probably play a harmonica while eating jello.
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush. But really, who wants bird crap on their hand. You know its gonna happen.
A closed mouth catches no flies. But where's the fun in that?!
If at first you don't succeed... just give 'er up man.
A friend in need is a friend indeed. "But dude seriously, its my last one."
Every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and angel gets set on fire.
Time heals all wounds. Unless its a fungus, in that case you should get that sucker checked out.
A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. But then again monkeys are commonly known for having denial issues.
A penny for your thoughts. And a buck if you NEVER REPEAT THAT EVER AGAIN.
A soft answer turneth away wrath... But if you would've thought of that good comeback ten minutes ago you wouldn't feel like such an idiot.
A penny saved is a penny gained. But as I was playing the penny-in-water game at DQ, I just kept thinking, "one more try, man, one more try."
A cat has nine lives. But the cure for that is multiple bullets.
Curiosity killed the cat. Yeeaaaaah.. curiosity.... (The cat ones are for Aaron Jeanson)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. I wish God would've made a special fruit for annoying people.
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a... man also feels like vomiting.
Blood is thicker than water. But not thicker than pudding snacks. Hey, back off my puddin' pack, man!
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat forever. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Haste makes waste. But then again, if you give it some time, it might work itself out.
Let sleeping dogs lie. But get the licking dog off my freakin lap, it's creepin me out.
Theres no time like the present. But there's always a possibility tomorrow will be better.
A dimple on the chin, the devil within. That's it. I just think that one's funny by itself.
Rome was not built in a day. But I bet if you tried real hard you could make something pretty fricken sweet outta macaroni in like 20 minutes.
The more the merrier. Unless you're talking about STD's, 'cause THAT could be a problem.
Two heads are better than one. If I had two heads I'd probably play a harmonica while eating jello.
posted by Rylan Schultz at
2:30 a.m.
4 Comments:
blood is thicker than water and two heads are better than one. I guess those ones arent yours
Do you still have my jacket?
By
Jenna, at 11:33 a.m.
by "yours" do you mean someone other than Jack Handy?
By
JAME, at 11:42 a.m.
no i mean i made them up sucker
By
Rylan Schultz, at 6:55 p.m.
haha its true people with bum chins are evil. the same way people with moustaches are AWESOME.
By
Rylan Schultz, at 9:52 p.m.
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